Whining and weaning

I'm weaning Beckett.

I've nursed him nearly two months longer than I nursed Kate, partially because when Kate was six months old we went on a vacation without her and my milk started to dry up, leading to a pretty easy and natural weaning. But the other reason I have continued to nurse Beckett is more emotional. Ben and I are (sort of) in agreement (sometimes) that B will be our last. Which means this is the last time I will nurse, using my breasts for a higher purpose (MY BREASTS ARE AMAZING! THEY GIVE LIFE! THEY FEED ANOTHER HUMAN!) rather than just weekend funbags for the hubs (who is all, YOUR BREASTS ARE AMAZING! CAN I TOUCH THEM AGAIN??)

But when Beckett sprouted his sixth (SIXTH!!?! WTF??) tooth, I decided it was time to cut the cord. Because each nursing session was like breastfeeding a baby bear. Or a cuddly tiger. OR FUCKING JAWS.

So I started last week giving him only bottles after lunch. He was pretty not okay with the whole situation, but I learned that if I just propped him up on a pillow, handed him a bottle and hid out of sight, little dude would drink. Because while boob was his preference, he seemed to figure that starving would suck more than drinking out of a bottle. Once we got that figured out, I felt ready to make the switch. So two days ago, after his early morning feeding I made the decision that we were done. That was my last feeding. And that day was great. And I patted myself on the back for a successful weaning.

And it has been. For Beckett anyways. Besides an occasional nudge at the old ta-tas, he seems to be okay with it.

I, on the other hand, am a full-on, hot mess.

I realized my hormones were getting all wonky about a day later when I started tearing up in the grocery store for no reason. Since then, I've been on a wild ride of happy, sad, angry and back to happy every 10-30 minutes. Ben is staying out of my way, which is a good sign I'm being a complete basket case. And if that wasn't enough, my boobs feel like they have been replaced by two bowling balls and my nipples have been hard for a full 48 hours.

FORTY-EIGHT HOURS.

So wish me luck. Because I swear on everything holy, I feel like if my body produces ONE MORE OUNCE OF MILK my breasts will literally explode.

And that would suck.

Brother B is Eight Months

Oh, hey there.

I'm Beckett. I turned 8 months old on April 13,  and I'm kind of a big deal.

What? You don't believe me?

Well then check me out. I don't exactly crawl yet. But from sitting I can lunge and wiggle and reach just about anything I want, then push myself back to my favorite position (sitting). Who wants to crawl around and play on their stomach when you can just grab a toy and sit back up to play with it?!

And I suck my fingers. Like a boss.

Because pacifiers and thumbs are for babies.

And everywhere I go, people stop my parents to tell them I have great hair. And, I'm all, "I KNOW!" 

 I make this face a lot because I already have five chompers and more are on the way, so I am constantly grinding my teeth. It feels great to me, but makes my parents cringe because it sounds like fingernails on a chalkboard.

Basically, I'm a super happy kiddo. I'm loveable and squeezeable. I sleep 12-13 hours a night. I play well by myself, love to make noises, babble, throw toys and play with my big sister. I'm all boy and all joy. 

Seriously. I'm a big deal.

Still alive (sort of)

Hi there. Hey. Remember me?

Yeah. We are alive over here. And I know I've begun just about every post this way, but I haven't blogged in awhile because we are, like, uh, TOTALLY BUSY AND IMPORTANT.

Scratch that. The important part anyway. We are just busy, and I'm, LE TIRED because I haven't adjusted to having two children needing me EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY WAKING HOUR FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY I JUST NEED TEN MINUTES TO MYSELF PLEEEEEEASEEEEEEEEE.

Ahem.

Sorry. Anyways, you may be asking, "Well, Liz, what (besides having two extremely busy children demanding your every waking hour) have you been doing these last few months?"

And I would tell you that we:

Listed, and sold, our old home (sniff)
Celebrated Kate's third (THIRD!!!!) birthday in grand style
Went on a family ski trip
Visited family for Easter
Continued to unpack boxes in our new house because we STILL have boxes to go through (sigh)

So, yep. That is about it. I write this just so I can actually start some in-depth posts again without a completely confusing everyone, so get ready for some really juicy Edelspotting in the next few hours (or days, or weeks. Whatever, because I haven't been able to finish a conversation since Beckett was born, let alone write an entire post uninterrupted and I don't want to make any promises here).

So anyways, here we go again!

Speak easy

You want to know what is SUPER about having an extremely verbal toddler (and when I say super, I say it with a strong dose of sarcasm). It is just SUPER that they can now verbalize their thoughts and opinions, sometimes to your great shame and embarrassment.

Exhibit A: Two weeks ago at school

Kate: What's that?
Teacher: Information about an exercise class I'm going to take.
Kate: My mommy used to exercise. But she doesn't any more. She is just TOO TIRED.

Well. Yes. I AM often too tired because I haven't had a full night's sleep in six months, but sweetie, THIS IS SOMETHING WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT IN PUBLIC UNLESS YOU WANT MOMMY TO TELL YOUR 'POOP IN TARGET' STORY ON YOUR WEDDING DAY.

Threaten my child with future humiliation? That doesn't sound like me. At. All. (wink)

So this little gem shamed me enough to join the local gym near our new house and buy new running shoes. But her assault on my self esteem was not yet complete, because last week when I picked her up her teachers had a new and DOUBLE SUPER story to share.

Exhibit B: Last week at school

Classmate 1: My mommy runs errands and exercises.
Classmate 2: My mommy changes diapers.
Kate: My mommy does nothing.

Wait, wait, did you catch that? Let me recap. When discussing me with her classmates at school, Kate declared that I DO NOTHING. Like, all day long I just sit on the couch eating bon-bons and ignoring my two young children. But, then, its probably just because I'm SO TIRED.

Luckily, I have a well developed sense of passive-aggressiveness that has allowed me to cope. The next day, when Kate wanted to play with me I told her she had to play by herself because I was busy. She asked me what I was doing and I got a ridiculous amount satisfaction when I answered,

"Nothing."

Yes, I AM silly and childish, thank you for asking. I also gave myself a mental high-five when I said it, so, there you go.

But seriously. You don't have to worry about me. I'm currently planning my payback strategy. It won't go into effect until she is about 16, but trust me.

Kate is going to learn, it doesn't pay to tell tales on Momma.

It's a Kate, Kate world

I've been told I need to write down the things that Kate says because some day I will forget. I often think there is NO WAY I could forget the hilarious crap that comes out of this kids mouth, but some of it is already slipping away. Sleep deprivation, old age or just a mental block to protect my sanity, for whatever reason I can only remember things she has said in the last week or so. Maybe its because so much that she says makes me laugh, cry or cringe. So here are a few recent gems from the world of Kate:

***

Me: Kate, Christmas is over. We need to put this music away for next year.
Kate: Mommy, why do you hate Christmas music?

***

Ben: Kate, do you see that bird? It is the Bald Eagle, our nation's bird. It is on the quarter
Kate: No daddy, its not on the quarter, its on that tree.

***

Kate: What is that?
Ben: Beer.
Kate: When I grow up, I'm going to like beer.
Me: *sigh*

***

Me: Kate, if you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Kate: To Jesus.
Me: Ah, thats sweet Kate, I love you.
Kate: I love God. And crocodiles.

***

Me: Stay here while I go get more water Kate.
Kate (yelling and wagging her finger at me while I walk across the restaurant): Don't get into any trouble mommy!!

***

Kate: MOMMY! I want to ride that bus!
Me: Kate, thats a school bus. You get to ride that when you are older.
Kate: Why?
Me: Because you have to be at least six years old to ride that bus. You have to be a Kindergartener.
Kate (tearfully): But I don't WANT to be a Kindergartener. I want to be KATE!

***

After I snapped at her because I had repeatedly asked her to do something and I lost my cool...

Kate: Mommy, don't yell at me. Emme doesn't yell (her two-year-old friend), Lisa doesn't yell (our neighbor), baby Merritt doesn't yell (Emme's four-month-old sister)... And Frosty the Snowman doesn't yell.

***

Me: Kate, if you help mommy and daddy and drag these two bags to the curb, I'll give you a dollar.
Kate (dragging one bag of leaves behind her): Mommy, I'll take this one, you take that one.
Me: Okay, but you only get fifty cents if you take only one bag.
Kate (stops in her tracks and looks back at me with attitude): TWO DOLLARS.
Me: Did you just raise your price on me?!

Around the EdelSpot

Because I rarely have more than 15 minutes to myself before the kids are asleep, and because after they finally DO go down I have about 15 minutes to eat dinner or get a shower before I pass out from sheer exhaustion, I am EXTREMELY behind in posting. Which may lead some of you to think that nothing is happening over here at the Edelspot, but HOLY LIFE CHANGING BATMAN, that couldn't be further from the truth.

1. Little man is five months old, and not to get all gooey, but such a joy. I look at him while I'm rocking him each night and think, HOLY COW I forgot how great it is to love a little person who doesn't talk back, throw tantrums or ROLL HER EYES AT YOU (oh, yes, she did). He is just so smiley. So happy. So deliciously ROUND and sweet and pinchable. On January 9, after a day where my sweet adorable baby was a full-on fuss-face, I let him suck on my finger and discovered he had hidden a prison shank in there. Which is code for baby tooth, but I do know that if anyone I know ever gets sent to the pokey, instead of razor blades, I'm smuggling them a few baby teeth for protection. As for nursing... this may be the beginning of the end unless B can mind his manners. ARE YOU HEARING THIS BUDDY!?! He also has had his first few tentative meals of solid food (i.e. rice cereal) although he doesn't seem enamored with the stuff. Which I personally find shocking (SHOCKING) because I can't keep anything out of his mouth, except apparently bland, cold, milky cereal. GO FIGURE (insert sarcasm here).
2. In other news, my daughter is amazeballs. Seriously. She has the power to make me simultaneously pull my hair in frustration and laugh until I cry. Her personality is... big. HUGE. There is no other way to put it. Her first dance recital was in December and she was such a ham she had the entire audience rolling. Our neighbors even had business colleagues who REMEMBERED HER DAYS LATER. She sees kids at our neighborhood playground and runs directly for them, yelling at me over her shoulder that her BEST FRIENDS(!!!!) are here -- despite the fact we've never met them. She is always listening and absorbing SO MUCH. When I talked to her about how some of her toys weren't safe for Beckett to play with, she just seemed to shrug off what I was telling her. But a few days later she named one of her My Little Ponies "Choking Hazard," and flew it around the room for a half hour yelling, "Choking Hazard to the rescue!!" She also has recently told me to... wait for it... SHUT UP. Which I know I've never said to her, so it has to have come from a movie or a conversation between grown-ups when we just forget that LITTLE EARS HEAR EVERYTHING. At least she hasn't picked up some of the other, ahem, even LESS attractive words that come out of my mouth on occasion. I'm frankly just waiting from the note that will come home from school one day saying, "Today your daughter cursed like a dirty sailor" but until then... *shrug* I mean, I'm trying here people. In other news, she rode her tricycle, I mean REALLY rode it, for the first time this week. And each day, with each eye roll, huff, hug, joke and snuggle I see my daughter becoming more and more her own sweet, funny, hilarious and just plain AWESOME person. 
3. Last, but certainly not least, we found, bought and moved into a new house in the 'burbs. As in the SUBURBS. As in, I saw a freaking PACK OF COYOTES running across the street three days ago, a hawk the size of a model airplane keeps circling out house looking for small children to abduct, and if you go out at night you can... wait for it... ACTUALLY SEE STARS. If you know us at all, you will know this isn't our scene so its been extremely life changing to say good-bye to the city. But we figured that since our new house is BEYOND fabulous, Ben's commute has been cut anywhere from 30-45 minutes, the public schools are pretty great AND since we haven't gone out, like, GONE OUT in about a year and a half, being 30 minutes from the city wasn't all that big of a deal. I'm adjusting. And shopping for the house. A lot. WEEEEEEE!

Buddies